Penis and Vagina-- Pussy Pump

V: We tried out the penis pump last night.

P: How did it go?

V: It was bigger.. I mean better.. well, bigger and better.

P: I couldn't be happier for you.

V: Didn't you mention another pump?

P: You mean the pussy pump?

V: Right. Is there really such a thing?

P: There most certainly is.

V: Now, what exactly does it do?

P: It'll make your labia swell up.

V: It isn't going to make me look fat, is it?

P: Oh boy..

Rewarding Sex

(Joke)

A young girl woke up one night and went into her parents' bedroom to investigate the noises. She saw her parents having intercourse and asked what they were doing. The girl's mother said that when Daddy puts his penis in Mommy's vagina they get a baby. The girl was very happy to hear she'd be getting a sibling and went back to bed.

The following night the girl once again awoke and went to investigate the noises coming from her parents' bedroom. The girl was shocked to see her mother performing oral sex on her father and asked, "Mommy, what do you get when you put Daddy's penis in your mouth?" The mother replied, "Jewelry, my dear. Nice, expensive jewelry."

Penis and Vagina-- Penis Pump

P: Does size really matter?

V: Sure does. The larger the tool, the better it fits the job.

P: And does Ron have a large "tool"?

V: Let's just say he's very skilled handling it.

P: So it's not very big.

V: I didn't say that.

P: Exactly. Which means you wish he was bigger.

V: Maybe.

P: Have you ever tried a penis pump?

V: No. Does it actually work?

P: It won't make Ron's prick grow twice as big permanently.

V: What use is it then?

P: It might make him engorged for a while.

V: That doesn't sound all bad.

P: What about trying a pussy pump while you're at it.

V: You've got to be kidding. Is there really such a thing?

P: Maybe next time.

Penis and Vagina-- Haircut

V: I've got to head out to the beauty parlor. See you later P.

P: Beauty parlor? For what reason may I ask?

V: To get a haircut.

P: I thought you went completely natural in that area.

V: I did, but I can't deal with hairs sticking out of my bikini crotch any more.

P: A little trimming should do the trick.

V: No, it's more than that.

P: There's some other problem with your pubic hair?

V: Sort of.

P: Come on, you can tell me.

V: It has to do with Ron.

P: Oh, he's afraid of getting hairs in his mouth when he goes down on you?

V: No, even worse. Last time he ate me out he ended up with a pube stuck in his teeth!

P: Say no more. Stop by tomorrow so I can check out your new hairstyle.

Penis and Vagina-- Jewelry Shopping

V: Time for me to go shopping.

P: But we just went shopping yesterday.

V: I know.

P: And you already need more panties?

V: No silly, I'm going jewelry shopping.

P: I'd think you have enough rings for your labia by now.

V: I just got my hood pierced so I need something for it.

P: Zowwy. I'd suggest you get something special for your hood piercing.

V: No kidding knucklehead. I was thinking of a barbell with a gemstone.

P: What about a clit dangler?

V: Why would I wear a.. clit dangler thingy??

P: Well, they are very decorative and..

V: And??

P: And I heard they can cause you to orgasm while just walking.

V: I'm sold!