The Cat and the Rooster

Time for a little humor in the form of a joke I remember hearing a log time ago..

This rooster was hanging out by a pool when he saw a stupid, arrogant cat headed his way. Looking for some fun, the rooster started muttering how no cat had ever out jumped him just loud enough so the passing cat could hear him. The cat stopped, took one look at the rooster's scrawny legs, and challenged him to a jumping contest on the spot. The rooster agreed and both animals dashed to the pool's edge. The cat sprang gracefully through the air and splashed nearly half way across the pool. In the meantime the rooster's puny legs propelled him no more than a foot into the pool. Before hitting the water the rooster hastily flapped and flew over to the other side of the pool without getting a drop of water on him. The cat yelled at the rooster for cheating, but the rooster couldn't stop laughing at his soaked competitor.

The moral of the story: Where there's a wet pussy you'll find a happy cock.

She Loved to Have People Watch

(Erotic Story by Black Walnut)

I’d instructed her earlier not to wear underwear beneath her dress that day. We are sitting on my patio smoking and sipping cold scotch. “Pull your dress up, spread your legs, and play with your pussy for me.” I live in an urban neighborhood, and although my back deck is semi-secluded, the neighbors might see us out there, dimly, shadowy, if they happen to look. As I watch her exposing herself like this, I feel myself growing harder, and so I loosen my belt, undo my pants, and begin idly to stroke myself. After several moments, the thrill of masturbating for each other like this out of doors, semi-publicly, is beginning to overwhelm whatever distress she may have felt.

When I see her getting close to orgasm, I tell her “stop, go in the house, and bring me your dildo.” When she returns, I say “lie back against the bench and fuck yourself with it, while the neighbors and I watch.” As she does so, I continue to stroke myself idly—leaning back on the bench next to her, sipping my scotch and watching her diddle her sloppy cunt with that rubber dong. Knowing she wants me to fuck her instead, but showing no inclination to do so, only seems to fuel her own lust. It is as if she has set her mind to do this for me so I will let her have my cock. Instead, I tell her “make yourself cum, get yourself off, since I know that’s all you really care about.” I call her my selfish little slut, my lovely, dear selfish little slut…and she goes off, bucking and grinding against the rubber cock, her voice crying out a little more loudly than she’d intended, but she is too far gone to worry about the neighbors now.

Her performance has succeeded, though, in bringing me close, and as she lays there recovering, I stand up and pull my cock out, letting my pants drop around my thighs. I tell her “pull the top of your dress down and sit up because I want to cum on your tits”, and as she obeys, I soon explode, hosing her bosoms and the deck down with half-a-dozen healthy spurts of my seed.