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This is the final post in this blog.


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Adult Musings Site Renovation

Originally, Adult Musings had no images just in case any readers might find them offensive or inappropriate for the environment where they read the blog. Adult Musings X contained pictures in every post.

Effective immediately, both blogs will be combined as Adult Musings including pictures. Adult Musings X will no longer be updated.

<Friendly Ego Start>

Adult Musings apologizes for any inconvenience this format change may cause its readers. Maintaining two versions of the blog has become a burden that simply could not be continued for what is expected to be a very long publication lifetime. We hope our readers will continue to enjoy Adult Musings in its new, improved format.

Best wishes acclimating yourself to the new format, Peace out.

<Friendly Ego End>

<Evil Ego Start>

Look, if you preferred the version of Adult Musings without pictures well too fucking bad for you. It's hard enough creating a quality, funny, adult entertainment blog. Making a second version was one major pain in the ass. And what for? Just because someone might get offended by some inappropriate, nude pictures?? Well, screw them. Face it, there's going to be plenty of inappropriate, offensive humor in just about every article so if you've got any problems with that then screw you too. We're going to write this blog any way we damn well please and it's going to be fucking funny.

If you don't like the change, Fuck you!!

<Evil Ego End>

Pain & Pleasure

(Erotic Story)

I sat alone at a small table hidden in the corner of a local tavern on another weekday night. A businessman washing away sad memories of what might have been. A failed career and a failed marriage. A pathetic specimen of an evolved animal, I cowered in my hole hoping my presence would escape humanity. Squinting through the tiny crack I allowed between my eyelids, I was mesmerized by a vision. A vixen covered in shiny black leather stood at the end of the bar gently stirring her drink with a swizzle stick. I refocused my attention on my vodka convinced that no goddess would visit this dive. Maybe there is a god because when I next looked up, sitting at my table directly across from me was this angelic dominatrix. I slurped down the remainder of my drink before looking up again.

My lovely dom grabbed me by my hand and led me into the ladies’ restroom. She pushed me against the the wall and pressed her body against mine. I stared down at the most beautiful breasts straining against the black patent leather pushing out two bulging mounds of cleavage. Then I realized her hand was wrapped tightly around the base of my cock which was fully engorged and angled with a steep upward erection. I stood frozen against the hard wall while her unrelenting grip induced my penis to swell ever more until I knew it would burst. No sooner had I anticipated the impending eruption then the grip was completely released. It was only a moment before those agile fingers wrapped around the top of my scrotal sack and that strong hand began squeezing my balls in its vice-like grip. The intense pain of my balls being crushed ever tighter rose up into my gut preventing me from breathing. No sooner was I sure I’d pass out from the unbearable pain then the powerful grip once again released my manhood. My penis had not been stroked or licked yet it throbbed with a more powerful erection then ever before.

My relaxation was short-lived as I next felt the impact of that clenched hand strike my balls with full force from underneath. The brutal impact caused my gut to feel like a bomb exploded internally destroying every organ in my chest. Then, to my utter amazement and disbelief, I looked down only to see my swollen cock launch a huge load of semen in an arc across the bathroom. With each painful pound my heart inflicted on my interior, my penis squirted out another stream of juice. My eyelids fell shut as I felt the agonizing pulsing in my abdomen along with the euphoric satisfaction of my still throbbing penis oozing out gobs of its seed. I forced my eyelids open once more only to see that my angelic dom had vanished. My body was completely spent and my fatigued frame collapsed on the wet tile floor. I passed out cold and wouldn’t awaken until the cleaning woman found me at closing time. Never before had I experienced the overwhelming sensations of pain combined with pleasure.

Penis and Vagina-- Halloween Costume

P: Are you dressing up for Halloween?

V: Of course. Halloween is the most fun holiday of all!

P: I hate to ask what you're dressing up as.

V: Eve.

P: That sounds pretty sexy.

V: Here, I'll show you.

P: V, we have a minor problem here.

V: You don't like how it looks?

P: Adam and Eve wore FIG leaves.

V: Isn't that what I have on?

P: Not exactly. Those are MARIJUANA leaves!

Perfect Companion

(Joke)

A middle-aged woman decided it was time to find a new companion so she put an ad in the dating classifieds. The ad read, "Woman searching for a man who won't abuse me, won't run away on me, and is great in bed."

The following day the woman hears the doorbell and goes to see who it is. She opens the door only to be greeted by a man in a wheelchair with no arms or legs. In disbelief, she asks if he could possibly be here in response to her ad. When he says he is, the woman asks why he thought he was right for her.

The disabled man explained, "I have no arms, so I can not beat you." The woman agreed. He continued, "I have no legs, so I can not run away on you." The woman nodded, "True, but how in the world do you expect me to believe you are great in bed?" The response, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Airplane

(Movie Recommendation)

Yes, you read that correctly. I changed the topic from "Movie Review" to "Movie Recommendation" because I write this blog and it's going to be right darn accurate sometimes. I said in my previous post that I'm not even going to attempt to write a real review so there you have it-- Movie Recommendation!

Today I recommend to my loyal readers the classic spoof slapstick comedy Airplane from 1980. I love Leslie Nielson and then they throw in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Peter Graves among others to make up a super funny cast. A spoof on the 1970's Airport disaster movies, Airplane uses every comedic trick in the book to great effect. Do yourself a favor and just watch this movie over and over and over because there are so many jokes and gags you'll notice new ones every time you watch it. 'Nuff said. Get the popcorn and sit back for some laughs.

Breasts Smileys

People have developed text smileys for just about every emotion. It was only a matter of time before smileys would be developed for different types of breasts!

. . Itty bitty titties

()() Little breasts

(.)(.) Nice breasts

(o)(o) Perfect breasts

(D)(D) Bullets

(O)(O) Handful breasts

(~0~)(~0~) Stretch mark breasts

\o/.\o/ Grandma's breasts

[o][o] Breasts during a mammogram

* ^ * Flat chest

(+0(+0) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) High nipple breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

oo A cups

{O}{O} D cups

(^)(^) Cold breasts

(<)(<) Perky breasts

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(O) Pierced breasts

(p)(p) Hanging tassels breasts

(-)(-) Flat against the shower door breasts

lollol Android breasts

($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts

(ooo) Total Recall breasts (she had three!)

(O)A(O) Tit fucked breasts

I hope your texting will be more colorful now ;-)